nothing much

There are a lot of things I need to write about.

I need to finish up the Boston trip. I need to write about how on Saturday (or Friday–it’s a blur) two weeks ago today I got the call that my grandma was dying. I need to write about the funeral. I need to write about coming back to school. I need to write about the graduate school I chose.

But every time I open a blog entry to write, I feel overwhelmed. I am tired. I have too many things that need saying, and I’d rather do homework.

Once I write about it, it’ll be true. It’s stupid, because I’m not in Boston anymore, and I’ve made my decision, and she is dead, and the words won’t change any of that. But they will change a little of me.

It’s so strange being back in Georgia where it’s warm and sunny and people are stressing about the last six weeks of school and everything’s falling together in an avalanche of stuff and I can count on a few fingers the number of people who have asked me about the funeral or how I am but for the most part everything keeps turning and I am tired.

I will be upping my arthritis medication today and I am tired.

I haven’t touched my manuscript in weeks and I am tired.

I need to post those entries and I am tired.

My grandma is dead and I am tired.

That’s all for now.

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